I’ve absolutely, positively HAD IT with Comcast

Posted: 19th September 2010 by That Ghoul Ava in Drunk rantings

Comcast support is as about as effective as a monkey fucking a football

At what point is “enough, enough”? How long is one required to put up with horrible service before they are entitled to lose their god damn mind? Is it two plus years? Because that’s how long I’ve been dealing with my issue with Comcast in the Chicago suburbs.

It started simply enough two years ago: Random loss of signal. Sometimes it was out for half an hour, sometime sit was 5 minutes, but most of the time the signal loss was so quick the modem wouldn’t even register it, but it was still enough of an interruption that any VPN connections, games, voice servers etc were dropped. It’s great when your CAD software requires a VPN connection to register the network license! And let me tell you – nothing says “relaxing” like unwinding after work, playing games with a group of friends, only to disconnect!

But Ava” You ask, “It’s been over two years. How could Comcast ignore such an issue, and why do you continue to pay for their service?

GOOD. FUCKING. QUESTION.I really wish I had kept track of all the hours I’ve spent on the phone with techs. Tell me – is there anything more annoying than being told, every single time, to reboot your modem and router? NO SHIT REALLY? WOW I WISH I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT! Wait, yes there is something more annoying – after you reboot your router/modem – for the upteenth time – they’re out of ideas because they can’t see anything, so they move onto Step 2: Send out the Tech!

I wish I also kept track of how many techs have been out to my house. I wish I kept track of how many times they have checked my lines, my computers, my hardware. Maybe they should have checked my blood pressure? Always the same conclusion: They can’t find anything, and it’s being forwarded to line technicians. Or something like that.

Now, for the first year, I actually believed that something was being done. After a while, the problem would stop. However as time went on, I realized that this issue seems to appear in spurts – it’s HORRIBLE for a month or so, then it settles down. And then it starts up again. Rinse and repeat. I began to realize that nothing was being done, and I would call and start the song and dance all over again.

Now, you would think that some record of this issue would be kept. Nope, had to explain it ALL.OVER. AGAIN. Did I reboot my modem. Let’s send a tech out. Lines look good. We’re escalating your issue. Annnnnnnnnnd stop. Obviously at this point, anyone would be pretty fucking aggravated. This would be beyond acceptable if all I did was game and blog. But this affects my work. And quite frankly, if all I did was check email and masturbate to porn, it would STILL be un-fucking-acceptable. I’M PAYING YOU.

Comcast's Secret Problem Solving FlowChart

4 months ago, I had about had it. I made my biggest stink yet after my connection would lapse about 6 times a day. I was all over twitter and found a new way to get aggravated: The twitter comcast reps. Melsissa, Bill, Bob, and who the fuck else knows who. I know they are just trying to do their job, but if it was annoying explaining it for the 100th time on the phone, imagine doing it again, but in 140 character limits. To their credit, they were able to get me thru to SOMEONE above an entry level tech….who told me he’s not sure what else he could do, and to contact my LOCAL comcast department. And the number he gave me was wrong. So then my only option would be to take more time off work, and go there in person. As if I hadn’t wasted enough personal  time off already.

Right about that time, I lost it. I call their corporate HQ. I sent scathing emails about how this is unacceptable and I finally got a response. The head local tech came out to “officially” verify my lines and equipment (what the FUCK did the other techs do then?). He was a great guy, understood my frustration, and personally had my lines set up to be monitored and gave me the office number of the local supervisor so I could report everytime this happened.

And after awhile, it stopped. Could it be true? Is it finally over?

Nope. Just another cycle. I continued to call and leave messages about each disconnect, but never received any follow up. I stopped trying. And when I once again, expressed my dissatisfaction on twitter – there’s the comcast twitter folk asking “Can we help?” I started twitching.

I wish this was an isolated incident, but it’s almost a internet joke about comcast’s craptacular service. I think the god damn worse part of all this is: I have no choice but to deal with it. Normally, if someone provides service you’re not happy with, you go somewhere else. Where the HELL can I go? Clear wireless? Sorry I’m a gamer and transfer large CAD files. AT&T? Same thing, You can’t get the speeds you need or want from them. And where the hell is FiOS? This is CHICAGO for fucks sake – why don’t we have viable options?

I can’t be the only one who is beside themselves with aggravation. There’s no fear of losing our business – where can we go? Of course it’s perfectly acceptable to get this kind of treatment – the internet if full of similar stories and complaints. And now you want me to switch to your Xfinity service, when you can’t provide what I’m paying for now? Not once was I offered any compensation. Not once. My work is interrupted for weeks at a time, I take days off to wait for techs, all while I continue to pay – and not ONE offer of compensation.

"How can we help you?"

I think this treatment wouldn’t be so infuriating if you just simply told me to bend over and go fuck myself, rather than give me a cheery attitude and smile while asking “How can I help you?” Actions speak louder that words, and I sure as fuck know what you really mean. At least I could respect you for honesty.

So what’s the point of this rant? Nothing. It won’t do a damn fucking thing. I think the best god damn part is 3/4 through writing it, I lost my connection again.

So tell me – what experiences have you had with this COMCASTIC service? Good? Bad?

  1. I’ve had it drop out every day but a couple so far here from 3:30-5:00pm in PA. It did it Monday, they came to “fix” it on Tuesday. Worked all the rest of the day Tuesday, then Wednesday, then Thursday. It didn’t do it Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

    The “@ComcastMelissa” kept telling me to call people, then today they called me today at 11:45am then again at 11:46am. This after they should have had in their records that we called at 3:30am Saturday (well Friday night/Saturday morning.).

    Melissa also tried to claim–despite having my cell phone AND home phone that they called and resolved everything, when I questioned them on this, I got a “oh, sorry, there’s another Lou Gagliardi in your area.” Yes, a Louis J Gagliardi, who’s phone number and address–things they would have known–are different then mine.

    Since our problems happen only (so far) twice, at least this year heh, I’m willing to give the benefit of the doubt that it could be faulty wiring or something else; but what’s irking me is the stuff that the twitter comcast is saying and doing.

  2. Ranedor86 says:

    The worst part about all of this is that Verizon has the best and most competitive service available to trump Comcast. So what’s their issue? They pretty much need to run all brand new fiber optic lines if your neighborhood wasn’t built within the last 5-10 years.

    On the other hand, they’re not considering how many people would absolutely JUMP at the chance to switch to their service the very second it rolled in– they’re only seeing their personal setup losses, and they’re focusing far too much on their cellular market share.

    Verizon could have the broadband market in their goddamn pockets if they could only find the balls to work on their infrastructure.

  3. Suzushiiro says:

    Do you have any alternative for broadband intertubes in your area? I used to raid with a guy who worked for Comcast, and he would always say that Comcast’s service is generally good in areas where it has actual competition and shit in areas where it’s the only game in town.

  4. Tommy Salami says:

    The issue with Comcast is always that they have oversold their bandwidth for your area. That’s why it drops signal and a reboot fixes it sometimes, because you kick someone else off when their signal strength is low. They won’t acknowledge it because it is an ongoing problem and the more users in an area, the harder it is to keep up with it- by the time they add some bandwidth, more people have signed up and the problem remains.
    Switch to FIOS when possible.

    • That Ghoul Ava says:


      No, that was part of what started the rant – there are literally NO other viable options. There is, I suppose, if I want to take a massive speed hit & go to AT&T or Clear, but I don’t want that. FiOS isn’t available here. So my options are “deal with it” or go to a much slower service. I’m sure that’s why comcast isn’t too worried about pleasing customers here: We have no choice but to take it.

  5. Nirettzy says:

    Comcast is the devil!! In fact I believe all cable companies suck. I had comcast for 6 mos or so and I had the same issues. One time it just went out. Didn’t come back on or anything. I disconnected my box and marched it straight into their crappy office and told them I was going to AT&T. Luckily I moved shortly after and the place was fairly new so it had U Verse compatibility. Now I am on FIOS and have never looked back.

  6. slacker says:

    Awesome article , I am going to spend more time reading about this topic