Posted: 2nd December 2010 by That Ghoul Ava in Drunk rantings

I’m sure every generation prior to mine has screamed about “those damn kids” and their slang. So I’m sure my incoming rant is nothing new. However, we all know I’m always right, so previous grievances were simply pissing and moaning – I have a legitimate complaint here. And I’m just going to be blunt about it:

Stop. With. Your. God. Damn. Text.  Talk.

Yes, YOU. You know who you are. KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF. Do you have ANY idea how retarded you sound? No, I’m not buying the excuse “it’s just quicker”. Even if saving .03 of a second WAS a legitimate excuse, it wouldn’t justify the trade off of being labeled a window licking moron. Even my friends and engineer coworkers do this. Hell, my boss sent me a “R U in the office” and I wanted to stuff his head in his ass. I don’t care how intelligent you are; you could have an IQ of 250 and design cold fusion devices in your kitchen – when you type like that, you sound about as intelligent as a 13 year old girl at a Justin Beiber concert.

Here, let me put it perspective for you. You’ve heard of Einstein, right? He was a pretty smart guy. The theory of Relativity and all that. Now imagine he sent Roosevelt a text when alerting him about the German Atomic weapons research, typing like this:

LOL  u kno germans r trying 2 build a bomb? We need 2 do it b4 them or every1 here will die”

Do you see it now? Do you see how even the most brilliant mind typing like that is immediately labeled an idiot with the intelligence of a rock? It can’t be helped, mainly because that’s how you sound. Every time I see someone posting a “Going 2 dinner” “Wut R U doing?” or “Wut is every1 doing?”, I have to suppress an urge to find out where that person lives, hunt them down, and drown them in the toilet.

I really think this shit is worse than ebonics. Sure, that was gutter garbage talk, but at least those idiots had to spell what they were trying to enunciate.

Are Americans the only fuck wads that do this? Or was this how those stupid emoticons were developed? By Japanese text talk?  turned into =^..^= ?

Look, this country and this planet have enough problems, and the last thing we need is for people to label us morons before we even open our mouths. KNOCK IT OFF.

  1. I love this. So much. =^.^=

  2. Rezznul says:

    OMG u r 2 fune. LOL JK!

    Ouch. That hurt to write like that.

  3. Fieryangel says:

    You are awesome.

  4. avasrelative1 says:

    Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I didn’t raise an idiot!! What about all those bloggers who can’t spell or punctuate? That drives me up a wall, too. Write about them. And point out how to use spell check.

  5. Gardel yw says: